100 days

The nation has been anxiously waiting to judge what our President has done for our country in 100 days. How has he changed us for the better? How he has improved our lives? The secret behind a successful relationship lies in its longevity and the willingness for those in the relationship to preserve through it, the willingness to work together to find common ground and to make things better for 100 days and beyond. This applies not only to our Presidential relationship to our country, but to our own individual relationships.

Many of us want to quickly make a determination about the success of our relationships in a mere 100 days or less. We aren’t getting any younger are we? But can we know how someone truly feels, can we know the depths of their heart, can we know the essence of their spirit, and can we know their commitment to us in such little time? Likewise, to look introspectively, in 100 days, can we determine how we ourselves feel about someone? Can we know their core and how they think? Are we able to say exactly how we feel about them? In 100 days, what, if any, sacrifices are we willing to make on their behalf?

I just finished watching the “Ghost of Girlfriends Past” with some friends tonight and while not laudable, the story incorporates, albeit, formulaic, the concepts of love that we all want, the undying faith, the security blanket. It is the love that we all crave, that no matter what we become, that person will always be there for us. We live in this world where we cherish the lovely notion that the story of love always ends with the kiss, or the dance, or the fade out to happily ever after.

Life doesn’t fade out. You may have the kiss and the dance, but after all that, there is still the everyday nitty gritty parts of life to live. Life is about working out the minor intricacies, the silly arguments about leaving clothing over the floor, washing dishes, whose parents to go over to for the holidays and what movie to watch on a Friday night.

The hopeful romantic in us wants everything to work out perfectly, that the magical “one” would come into our world and instantly enchant us with epic romantic gestures that will leave us satiated forever.

Alas, those in successful relationships can probably agree that in one hundred days, you may still be in the honeymoon phase of being very much in love without having to work very hard at keeping the relationship going. The harmonious nature of the beginning of the relationship draws people in. It lets them believe that it will stay like that forever if not grow to be more perfect. Real life doesn’t happen that way. The honeymoon does end. Those disagreements will occur as you won’t see eye to eye on everything and then you start to wonder, why am I in this relationship? Did I make a mistake? It is only when you realize that you are better off with than without the relationship and that it has improved your life, made you see possibilities that were not there before, and made you stronger as a person, that you realize you are willing to stay for the roller coaster ride of a relationship and that you are committed for the long haul.

Just like for a successful relationship, it is too quick to judge President Obama on 100 days of his relationship with the U.S. His approval ratings may be still incredibly high because we are all still enchanted with our President. Yes, we are in the honeymoon phase where things seem effortless to agree but there will come a time as in all relationships, when we may not see eye to eye and our faith will get tested. There will come a time when we may wonder, did we make a mistake in electing our President?

And that is the time, when we must remember, we cannot judge the success of a President in 100 days. Long after the honeymoon is over, we must be willing to recognize that we are better off with our President than we are without. Like any successful relationship, we must be willing to give it time, patience and commitment.