A'dress'ing Prom

It was almost twelve years ago around this time when my heart was aflutter hoping that I would find the perfect one, and I did. I pulled out my prom dress from the recesses of my closet, still in its pristine condition of being worn only that one night. I sincerely hope that the recipient of this almost “vintage” dress will feel as much as a princess as I did on the night I wore it.

I don’t recall if we danced, I don’t recall if we ate. I don’t recall the theme or who was queen. I don’t remember too much about my date, other than he was the starter of the varsity basketball team and I asked him to prom through his sister because I was shy and he was cute. What I can remember vividly though was my prom dress.

My best friend’s cousin, Kevin, was then a budding design student (who has now evolved into a wedding dress designer www.kevinlieu.com) working out of a community college. With a few strokes on a pad he designed three prom dresses for me to choose from and together we hopped into his little lime green Honda civic to go search for the fabric and then to use the sewing machines from his class at the community college. The initial fitting of my dress three days prior to the big day was ill-fitting and disastrous.

On prom day, I was so nervous, I had not seen or tried on the new dress and I was hoping that it would just fit. It had to fit; I had no back-up. Kevin was my fairy godmother though and delivered perfection. I slipped on the dramatically backless silver halter dress with the elegant rhinestone neckline and gorgeous train and it felt magical. I never had such a fabulously fitting dress before and I was instantly transformed from a bookishly cute teenager into a glamorous young woman for the evening.

That night, my dreams of being the most beautiful girl in the room came true. What I had envisioned in my mind came out exactly, if not better, than what I had hoped for (I only hope that my future wedding will go off as smoothly!)

Prom season is starting again and teenage girls still continue to be excited about the prospect of having that beautiful dress that will transform them for that one evening. I hope that my prom dress will go to a deserving young lady who will find it to be a perfect fit and that it will bring to her the confidence and exuberance that I felt as a young woman by wearing it for that one night.
I hope that this young lady will find in the dress that she has a fairy godmother who wants her to have her dreams come true even if it’s only for one magical evening.

I dream a dream

I wonder if humans are unique creatures alone in this world that would do anything for praise. My colleague actually confessed to me that she would probably give away her unborn child if someone praised her enough (o.k. I’m sure she didn’t mean it) but we as people certainly crave praise. There is a fundamental desire to be acclaimed and to strive for significance of whatever minutia or magnitude of importance.

I cannot fault my colleague for her honesty because deep down seeping through my veins is a thirst for acknowledgment, praise of a job well done, a decision well made. Whether it be a compliment on the purse I selected (from the male Burberry clerk who gasped, “I love your purse!” (yes, a male who would notice my purse speaks volumes in and of itself) to a colleague today telling me that I had a presence and quality about me and that I will be missed when my term here is up in less than two months.

We walk around sometimes wishing to be the diamond that is found, scraped off from a lump of coal. We may wish that someone will find favor upon us, pick us up, put us into the light and find that we are not merely what is seen on the surface, but within us at the core, is our essence.

Yesterday, I was introduced via Youtube to Susan Boyle (what was the world like before Youtube only a few years ago), who has become an overnight sensation. Over 10 million viewers have watched this clip and the number grows each day with media exposure such as CNN. From a still shot of the video, I was afraid of what I was going to encounter. Here, on the stage of Britain’s Got Talent, was an unemployed 47 year old British lady who Stacy London would undoubtedly give a free “what not to wear” makeover to in a second; a lady who was in desperate need of an Introduction to Waxing 101. Standing there in front of an audience of at least hundreds, she was already the subject of laughter and ridicule for her appearance.

She told Simon Cowell that she dreamed of being a singer and she opened her mouth to sing, I dream a dream from Les Miserables. The chuckles, the laughter instantly stopped replaced by loud and thunderous applause. Susan’s voice captured the essence of what is raw and pure light. From her appearance, as reviewing a gem, one would say she had impurities, missing the qualities of the 4C’s, the standard of beauty in gemology. But when Susan sang, the world saw past that. It saw past her awkwardness and lack of social grace and sung praise for her. Not a single person was sitting by the end of her performance. She silenced even Simon Cowell, the most cynical of all critics.

For the brevity of those minutes that she sang and spent with the judges, she received glorious praise for her voice, wonderful praise for the small town of villages she was from. But the truth is that Susan probably always had this breathtaking voice. Just that no one had ever given her the chance to show it or had bothered to stop and listen and to give her praise. For those few moments, she was able to receive the praise that she craved. All of us crave, all of us need, as much as the food and drink is the sustenance to our body.

When it comes to validation, we are the same in the need to seek validation from others. What would it matter if Susan died with her wonderful voice if she never shared it with anyone? If no one ever experienced the power of it? Susan wants to be validated not just as a singer but as a contributing individual in our society. She is no different from me or perhaps you in that way. We as a society crave praise issuing silly medallions, statutes, and certificates to satiate our appetite for it. Yet, there is nothing physical that needs to be awarded to the human spirit in order to feel a heightened sense of elation. Providing someone else jubilation is often time the only thing that we need in order to feel validated. Although loud thunderous applause from a room full of people is praise that can make anyone feel proud and joy, simple expressions of gratitude, simple compliments, pats on the back or acknowledgement of a job well done is all that we need to keep us going and to keep us strong in our daily lives sometimes.

This afternoon when my colleague ran into me on the way to the parking lot, I did not expect to hear praise from her. In fact, earlier this morning, I was feeling a bit downhearted about some of my circumstances and was spending some time pondering about it when I was pleasantly surprised by her compliment. Truthfully, we are not in the same department and we don’t work in the same office. Our interactions are brief and we see each other sporadically. But, at the end of the day, it still felt good to hear someone say that I will be missed, that I matter, and that I have made a difference in the short time that I have been here.

Susan Boyle brought out the best in us. We are all judgmental and cynical of the world but we put those emotions on pause because we feel a sudden sense of joy in knowing we can provide praise for someone who is truly gifted and probably doesn’t get a chance to hear that often.

Why are we so selective in our praise? Why don’t we make it a daily ritual to tell someone how much we appreciate them? Why can’t we laud someone for being a wonderful human being who strives to be the best that they can be and makes the world a better place for it? I watched Les Miserables on Broadway many years ago, the story is about politics, class, betrayal, but most of all, even in the song “ I dreamed a dream” it is about love, love for another human and a willingness to do something about it.

For every beautiful iconic vision of perfection like Princess Diana, there’s probably a Susan Boyle, out there. Who is more deserving of praise? Let’s strive to give praise indiscriminately for a job well done no matter who you are or no matter who it is directed at. Just like my co-worker or maybe even Susan, you will never know how much that will be appreciated that day.

Cherry Jubilee

As I sat on a plane coming back from Washington DC during Cherry Blossom Festival, I felt so grateful for a wonderful weekend in our nation’s capitol. Weekends come and go (and are often not long enough) but this past one in DC was truly a memorable one. It wasn’t memorable because I rubbed elbows with the President, or hugged a Senator and no, I didn’t get in trouble with the Secret Service. In fact, I’ve been in DC where I have seen cherry blossoms more beautiful than this weekend before. What made it a memorable weekend was something more simple: spending time with wonderful people.

When I moved to DC in January 2007, I barely knew my roommate. The city was unfamiliar and winters definitely felt like winter! It was a strange experience learning to navigate the streets, the quadrants of the city, how to ride the Metro, and how to be on myyour own. My time living in DC though was special, not just because of experiencing many firsts, it was special because I would have never met the friends that I did if I stayed in Los Angeles.

Certainly I wouldn’t have met my bff originally from Atlanta, nor would I have established a wonderful friendship with my most cherished co-worker from Montana, where we spent late nights talking about our dreams and relationships. I would not have met my Canadian friend where we would explore the city and its wonderful eats. I would never have become fast friends with a Californian who went to graduate school in Michigan and now works in DC or met friends from Hawaii who made it all the way east to work in the nation’s capitol.

Being in DC this time felt particularly satisfying because both my best friend from New York and my boyfriend from San Francisco both came into the city to be with me. An experience is more magical when you get to share it with the ones you love. Together a diverse group of individuals from a range of cities got together to just have fun. Yes, I enjoyed seeing the cherry blossoms, taking snapshots and liquor shots, enjoying delicious brunches and hilarious conversations, but most importantly, I just enjoyed being there with the people that I care about and that they too were able to share with me that little piece of DC that I love.