Salud!

‘Salud’. A toast to health. That is often the word we use in our family and how appropriate it is to toast to the foundation of our lives. We treat our bodies like our mothers. We expect it to be there for us, to care for us, to do things for us, but we may not necessarily reciprocate; often being thoughtless and taking it for granted because, well, it is there.

It isn’t until we are sick, or our back hurts or our eyes sting or we can’t chew that we really give consideration and marvel at our body for taking care of us every day without complaint.

Yesterday morning, I woke up with a sore throat that slowly manifested into a cold throughout the day. By evening, my head was cold, I was shivering, my throat was still hurting, and I was sniffling, blowing my nose, and feeling congested all at the same time. Yes, I was sick, and no, I was not enjoying it. As I took my magic little red pills that look like they came from a game of my favorite Nintendo Game Dr. Mario (Tylenol Cold Rapid Release) waiting for it to work, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of appreciation for my body for taking care of me. How did I get sick I wondered? I wash my hands, I take a multi-vitamin and I do try to eat healthy (well I guess I could cut back on the milk tea and other sugary drinks).

I couldn’t sleep last night, partly because I just couldn’t breathe. Even the magic little pills were only able to provide me so much comfort for the night. I wish I had gotten the nighttime relief ones so I could be knocked out. Instead, I was left lying awake trying to breathe out of my mouth and trying to think about how nicely I would treat my body once I recover -work out more and eat less junk food.
But I know that I have been here before. Once I am well, I will soon forget how I was feeling and what promises I made to myself. As doctors often tell us, we only have one body and maintaining our health should be our number one priority (although it is so often not).

I am so grateful that I actually have the luxury to rest and allow my body to heal. We spend more time on the outside of my body and aesthetic appearance sometimes than we do on what’s working inside and that priority should be shifted. As I am getting ready to pop another pill (it’s been the requisite four hour wait time), I want to remind myself that once I get better, I still need to take care of my health and make a toast each day to it-Salud!

The Mid-Year Report

Funny story happened at Macy’s today. As my mom purchased her sweater (excellent deal of course) the cashier (likely to be in high school or a recent grad) asked me “ Are you eighteen because you could apply for a Macy’s charge card?” I smiled and told her, yes I was 18 but then I was curious as to how old she thought I really was. When I told her I was 30, her eyes widened as if I were yanking her chain. No way! she exclaimed. She told me she hoped to look as young as I do when she turns 30. Hey, I’ll take that as a compliment! And with that wonderful story of looking young I segue into my mid-year report of my 30th year!

Entry into a new decade and now comes time to pause and reflect on what has happened over the last 6 months. I still remember when I first started my position working at the University of Southern California shadowing my boss and learning great counseling techniques from him. It seemed gradual as I moved from one office to the next over the course of the nine months. Until just last week, as quickly as my term came, it also ended. I learned so much on the position and I enjoyed much of it, the interaction with the law students and alumni, the ability to help others, learning about trends and forecasts, and getting stimulated both intellectually and spiritually.

From a personal perspective, I have felt my relationships grow as well. I’m so glad that I moved back home to be with my parents during their transition of selling their business that they have had ever since we flew here on a Pan Am flight in 1985. The uncertainty of what their world would look like, where their next jobs might come, and what their days are going to be unfolded with us together as a family. I had the opportunity to watch my little niece grow from just a tiny little fragile princess on the day of her birth to a cute, playful, smart, and coy little girl who is about to turn one. Although my best friend is far distance wise, she is always available by phone and I have relied on her countless times this year and she has been such a pillar of strength for our friendship. I’m also extremely happy to spend time with my real deal. Since moving back to California we have had the opportunity to spend more time together, sharing spectacular memories and moments, and getting to know his family.

Being 30 also means making hard decisions. Decisions about the present, the future, what brings short term & long term happiness and what it means to make decisions that you solely must be responsible for. Thinking about job opportunities and where to live for the next few years is not an easy task or a stress less one and I have to constantly remind myself to breathe because when one gets caught up in one’s own problems, all of a sudden everything just seems so daunting. I’m glad that through prayer and great support through the ones I love the most: god, my real deal, my best sister (my only sister), and my best friend, I was able to make the right decision about my job and where to live.

I’m not sure what the rest of the year is going to store for me and I am looking forward a wonderful second half of my 30th year. I have been told that in your 30’s you are more confident and secure with yourself, you know what you want, you are not afraid to ask for it, you are happy in your own skin and you want someone to accept you “just as you are”. I’m not sure when all of those aspects of being 30 will hit me but I do know that as I have aged I have become more humble and grateful.

I am grateful for my parent’s love and hospitality. I am grateful to have a happy and loving family. I am grateful that my grandparents are still alive and I have the opportunity to perform filial duties, be kind, be nice, and be a good granddaughter (disciplines me to be a little more patient). I am grateful that I have people to love and they love me in return and most importantly I am grateful to have the opportunity to live, that god has given me the ability to make choices and to live a fulfilling and blessed life. Now I just can’t disappoint =)

Jet-setting Hugs & Kisses

Airports-the hustle bustle, the drill sergeant police officers poaching your car and threatening to give tickets, the crazy taxi drivers weaving in and out of the lanes, enough said right? Airports can often be a hectic scene. As I am sitting here on the plane of a now further delayed flight, I am entitled to a sense of agitation, to a slight annoyance as I have been patiently waiting here for close to 2 hours for a flight that should only take a small fraction of the day to complete.

Yet despite the frustration, there is something magical about airports. Ever witnesses the embraces? The warm kisses or the longing looks at the departure terminal? Ever watch the young children jumping on their loved ones at the arrival terminal? What about the sweet guys who bring flowers to their significant others at the airport? The laughter and the jubilation of seeing someone that you love at the airport is often priceless.

Today as my parents dropped me off at the airport for my weeklong trip to Alaska and my visit to San Francisco, they each gave me kisses, something that we as a family don’t do on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis. In fact, it seems as the only time they ever really give me those types of embraces or kisses if I’m leaving on a trip or going somewhere for a while.

When I got to the gate, two parents were accompanying their child who would be an unaccompanied minor on my plane. As they gave him hugs and kisses, no doubt they were thinking about how much they love their son and how much they will miss him even if he’s only going to grandma’s house (Turns out that our flight was delayed for more than 2 hours and they let us off the plane to go back to the terminal. The loving parents stayed at the airport the whole time for their son and probably didn’t leave until we took off).

I remember when I was a tween in the early 90’s, my then favorite aunt from Venezuela had been visiting for months with my cousins and it was time for them to go back to South America. Back then, we were allowed to see the passenger to the gate and there all of us little ones went hugging and kissing and saying goodbye to our aunt and cousins. At the airport, it seems appropriate to show unabashed emotions that you may not show anywhere else. Perhaps that is why despite the frustration of delays, the long flights, and the jet lag, there is something special about the emotions that can only be conveyed at the airport: genuine love.

Bathroom chats in other galaxies

Men are always intrigued by the fact that women like to go to the bathroom together. What happens in there? What are they talking about? Perhaps it’s not the same for men but many a wonderful heartfelt conversations actually happen in the girl’s bathroom.

Blame it on my small bladder but I often find myself in the ladies restroom no matter where I am and as a result I have had substantial life conversations in the bathroom.

From discussing relationship issues to talking about career changes and trajectories, the bathroom provides that extra privacy far way from the real “working world”.

In the bathroom, it seems safe to talk about our fears and our hopes: our present, our past, and our future. Today I was telling my coworker that my last day of work is next week and that I have enjoyed my time working as a career advisor at a university immensely. My coworker reminded me that in uncertain times better opportunities usually come our way and as cliché as it sounds, when one door closes another one opens. She told me about her own personal journey of keeping the faith, how it took longer than she expected to get where she was but how her faith and her flexibility increased as a result.

I always imagined myself to be in a secure, comfortable and established place at the ripe age of 30. Most lawyers are practical by nature and have their lives planned out. However, I am finding as my current position is coming to an end that I am once again at the juncture of self-evaluation. One of the blessings of being a career advisor is interacting with students and professionals who are in transition and/or searching for a position. Through their hopes, their fears, and their actions, I am able to see a little glimpse of some of the issues and doubts that plague all humanity and it serves as a gentle reminder for me that everything somehow will work out in the grand scheme of things.

The grand scheme of things seem to be quite elusive when you are in flux and the compass for your life’s direction does not seem to want to point to any one place in particular to help you ground your way. But if you look beyond your own life, beyond human life, beyond even our hemisphere and solar system you may realize that there is much more beyond our daily concern. My brother (a self-proclaimed nerd and Trekkie) and I, were discussing Canis Majoris, a red hyper giant star 4900 light years away and about 500,000 times bigger than our sun. It’s very existence and the possibility of parallel life forms all of a sudden diminishes the importance of whether or not one will get a paycheck this week.

I’m not sure if there are parallel life forms in other galaxies and unlike my brother I don’t spend too much time pondering over these things; but if there are, I hope that those life forms also have safe havens like the girls’ bathroom where are able to share their lives, their dreams and their hopes and fears.

Pomp & Circumstance

The tents are pitched, the chairs are aligned, the tablecloths are spread. Tomorrow is commencement here at the university I am working at and I am excited for the new graduates. Graduating from college and graduate school, one feels a glorious sense of accomplishment. All those nights studying, outlining, and fretting over exams are over! It doesn’t seem that long ago that I walked across that stage to the tune of pomp and circumstance but this weekend I will be going to my 5th year Law School Alumni Reunion and it has been eight years since I graduated with a bachelors degree. I know that many grads feel like they are on top of the world right now and with this feeling of jubilation, I welcome them to the world and recommend the following five tips:

1. Be thankful-If you are like most students, you did not do it alone. Your parents were behind you supporting you, feeding you, clothing you, hopefully not still burping you. Don’t forget to truly and sincerely thank them for all their support.

2. See the world-It doesn’t mean that you have to take some extravagant trip and no I don’t mean to take an extended Spring Break in Cancun. Expand your horizons. Seeing how other people live in other countries will provide you with a perspective of what it means to live in America.

3. Be a steward of your education-It is a privilege to attend college and graduate school. There are many countries where women are still not allowed to go to school. Use your skills and talents to do good for the world.

4. Learn financial wisdom-Gone are the days of charging your clothes and meals on your parents credit card. Part of graduating into the real world is being charged with real world responsibilities. Graduating in this economy can actually provide a great lesson: never spend more than you have and credit cards really are not your friends. Being saddled with debt is no fun. Learning to be financially savvy will provide you with the freedom to explore your passions.

5. Don’t worry if you still don’t know what to do with your life-Yes, we all have friends who know exactly what they are going to do. They have their ten year plan detailing down to the exact day of their marriage. For the rest of you, don’t worry that you don’t have that plan. Life has an interesting way of unfolding and providing opportunities. Never be fearful of taking an opportunity, especially if it’s doing something you love. Allow your life and passions to develop organically.

Congratulations on your success and achievements and remember to take a million photos!

Thank you Mami Dearest

Thank You Mami Dearest

We are reminded by every form of commercial advertising that this coming Sunday is Mother’s Day but perhaps this is truly one of those holidays that we should be hounded about because mothers are truly the backbone of our families and our society as a whole.

My mother (I call her Mami because that’s how Venezuelans say it) has always been a constant in my life. When I moved to DC, my mother was the only one from my family that I would have bi-weekly calls with. During the time I have lived apart from my mom, I always feel so appreciative of all that she does for me from the little things like giving me a wake up call (across time zones!) to making sure I’m taking care of myself and drinking soup and taking care of my skin. Now that I am living in close proximity to my mom again, it’s almost harder to appreciate her because I see her everyday and sometimes forget to thank her for all the things she does.

As I worry about growing older, I sometimes forget that my parents and my grandparents are aging with me. My maternal grandmother raised me, but now at 80 she seems frail and thin. I value the time that I get to spend with her and constantly remind myself that I should spend as much time with her as possible. Similarly with my own mother, although she is strong and vibrant and acts a youthful 59, I realized just how frail human life could be when she injured herself earlier this year and took more than a month to recover.

Yes, we are reminded to buy cards, flowers, jewelry and to take our mothers out for Mother’s Day to show her our appreciation for all that she does, whether it is worry or nurture. But I believe the best way to show appreciation of all that your mother does is to thank her by spending time with her. It is to let her know you know the sacrifices she has made, that you value her opinion, and that she has done a most excellent job.

I know my mother juggles the role of daughter, daughter-in law, mother and grandmother and it’s a challenge juggling these roles cross generations. This Mother’s Day, I want to be able to convey to my mom how grateful I am for her and say Thank You Mami Dearest!

100 days

The nation has been anxiously waiting to judge what our President has done for our country in 100 days. How has he changed us for the better? How he has improved our lives? The secret behind a successful relationship lies in its longevity and the willingness for those in the relationship to preserve through it, the willingness to work together to find common ground and to make things better for 100 days and beyond. This applies not only to our Presidential relationship to our country, but to our own individual relationships.

Many of us want to quickly make a determination about the success of our relationships in a mere 100 days or less. We aren’t getting any younger are we? But can we know how someone truly feels, can we know the depths of their heart, can we know the essence of their spirit, and can we know their commitment to us in such little time? Likewise, to look introspectively, in 100 days, can we determine how we ourselves feel about someone? Can we know their core and how they think? Are we able to say exactly how we feel about them? In 100 days, what, if any, sacrifices are we willing to make on their behalf?

I just finished watching the “Ghost of Girlfriends Past” with some friends tonight and while not laudable, the story incorporates, albeit, formulaic, the concepts of love that we all want, the undying faith, the security blanket. It is the love that we all crave, that no matter what we become, that person will always be there for us. We live in this world where we cherish the lovely notion that the story of love always ends with the kiss, or the dance, or the fade out to happily ever after.

Life doesn’t fade out. You may have the kiss and the dance, but after all that, there is still the everyday nitty gritty parts of life to live. Life is about working out the minor intricacies, the silly arguments about leaving clothing over the floor, washing dishes, whose parents to go over to for the holidays and what movie to watch on a Friday night.

The hopeful romantic in us wants everything to work out perfectly, that the magical “one” would come into our world and instantly enchant us with epic romantic gestures that will leave us satiated forever.

Alas, those in successful relationships can probably agree that in one hundred days, you may still be in the honeymoon phase of being very much in love without having to work very hard at keeping the relationship going. The harmonious nature of the beginning of the relationship draws people in. It lets them believe that it will stay like that forever if not grow to be more perfect. Real life doesn’t happen that way. The honeymoon does end. Those disagreements will occur as you won’t see eye to eye on everything and then you start to wonder, why am I in this relationship? Did I make a mistake? It is only when you realize that you are better off with than without the relationship and that it has improved your life, made you see possibilities that were not there before, and made you stronger as a person, that you realize you are willing to stay for the roller coaster ride of a relationship and that you are committed for the long haul.

Just like for a successful relationship, it is too quick to judge President Obama on 100 days of his relationship with the U.S. His approval ratings may be still incredibly high because we are all still enchanted with our President. Yes, we are in the honeymoon phase where things seem effortless to agree but there will come a time as in all relationships, when we may not see eye to eye and our faith will get tested. There will come a time when we may wonder, did we make a mistake in electing our President?

And that is the time, when we must remember, we cannot judge the success of a President in 100 days. Long after the honeymoon is over, we must be willing to recognize that we are better off with our President than we are without. Like any successful relationship, we must be willing to give it time, patience and commitment.

A'dress'ing Prom

It was almost twelve years ago around this time when my heart was aflutter hoping that I would find the perfect one, and I did. I pulled out my prom dress from the recesses of my closet, still in its pristine condition of being worn only that one night. I sincerely hope that the recipient of this almost “vintage” dress will feel as much as a princess as I did on the night I wore it.

I don’t recall if we danced, I don’t recall if we ate. I don’t recall the theme or who was queen. I don’t remember too much about my date, other than he was the starter of the varsity basketball team and I asked him to prom through his sister because I was shy and he was cute. What I can remember vividly though was my prom dress.

My best friend’s cousin, Kevin, was then a budding design student (who has now evolved into a wedding dress designer www.kevinlieu.com) working out of a community college. With a few strokes on a pad he designed three prom dresses for me to choose from and together we hopped into his little lime green Honda civic to go search for the fabric and then to use the sewing machines from his class at the community college. The initial fitting of my dress three days prior to the big day was ill-fitting and disastrous.

On prom day, I was so nervous, I had not seen or tried on the new dress and I was hoping that it would just fit. It had to fit; I had no back-up. Kevin was my fairy godmother though and delivered perfection. I slipped on the dramatically backless silver halter dress with the elegant rhinestone neckline and gorgeous train and it felt magical. I never had such a fabulously fitting dress before and I was instantly transformed from a bookishly cute teenager into a glamorous young woman for the evening.

That night, my dreams of being the most beautiful girl in the room came true. What I had envisioned in my mind came out exactly, if not better, than what I had hoped for (I only hope that my future wedding will go off as smoothly!)

Prom season is starting again and teenage girls still continue to be excited about the prospect of having that beautiful dress that will transform them for that one evening. I hope that my prom dress will go to a deserving young lady who will find it to be a perfect fit and that it will bring to her the confidence and exuberance that I felt as a young woman by wearing it for that one night.
I hope that this young lady will find in the dress that she has a fairy godmother who wants her to have her dreams come true even if it’s only for one magical evening.

I dream a dream

I wonder if humans are unique creatures alone in this world that would do anything for praise. My colleague actually confessed to me that she would probably give away her unborn child if someone praised her enough (o.k. I’m sure she didn’t mean it) but we as people certainly crave praise. There is a fundamental desire to be acclaimed and to strive for significance of whatever minutia or magnitude of importance.

I cannot fault my colleague for her honesty because deep down seeping through my veins is a thirst for acknowledgment, praise of a job well done, a decision well made. Whether it be a compliment on the purse I selected (from the male Burberry clerk who gasped, “I love your purse!” (yes, a male who would notice my purse speaks volumes in and of itself) to a colleague today telling me that I had a presence and quality about me and that I will be missed when my term here is up in less than two months.

We walk around sometimes wishing to be the diamond that is found, scraped off from a lump of coal. We may wish that someone will find favor upon us, pick us up, put us into the light and find that we are not merely what is seen on the surface, but within us at the core, is our essence.

Yesterday, I was introduced via Youtube to Susan Boyle (what was the world like before Youtube only a few years ago), who has become an overnight sensation. Over 10 million viewers have watched this clip and the number grows each day with media exposure such as CNN. From a still shot of the video, I was afraid of what I was going to encounter. Here, on the stage of Britain’s Got Talent, was an unemployed 47 year old British lady who Stacy London would undoubtedly give a free “what not to wear” makeover to in a second; a lady who was in desperate need of an Introduction to Waxing 101. Standing there in front of an audience of at least hundreds, she was already the subject of laughter and ridicule for her appearance.

She told Simon Cowell that she dreamed of being a singer and she opened her mouth to sing, I dream a dream from Les Miserables. The chuckles, the laughter instantly stopped replaced by loud and thunderous applause. Susan’s voice captured the essence of what is raw and pure light. From her appearance, as reviewing a gem, one would say she had impurities, missing the qualities of the 4C’s, the standard of beauty in gemology. But when Susan sang, the world saw past that. It saw past her awkwardness and lack of social grace and sung praise for her. Not a single person was sitting by the end of her performance. She silenced even Simon Cowell, the most cynical of all critics.

For the brevity of those minutes that she sang and spent with the judges, she received glorious praise for her voice, wonderful praise for the small town of villages she was from. But the truth is that Susan probably always had this breathtaking voice. Just that no one had ever given her the chance to show it or had bothered to stop and listen and to give her praise. For those few moments, she was able to receive the praise that she craved. All of us crave, all of us need, as much as the food and drink is the sustenance to our body.

When it comes to validation, we are the same in the need to seek validation from others. What would it matter if Susan died with her wonderful voice if she never shared it with anyone? If no one ever experienced the power of it? Susan wants to be validated not just as a singer but as a contributing individual in our society. She is no different from me or perhaps you in that way. We as a society crave praise issuing silly medallions, statutes, and certificates to satiate our appetite for it. Yet, there is nothing physical that needs to be awarded to the human spirit in order to feel a heightened sense of elation. Providing someone else jubilation is often time the only thing that we need in order to feel validated. Although loud thunderous applause from a room full of people is praise that can make anyone feel proud and joy, simple expressions of gratitude, simple compliments, pats on the back or acknowledgement of a job well done is all that we need to keep us going and to keep us strong in our daily lives sometimes.

This afternoon when my colleague ran into me on the way to the parking lot, I did not expect to hear praise from her. In fact, earlier this morning, I was feeling a bit downhearted about some of my circumstances and was spending some time pondering about it when I was pleasantly surprised by her compliment. Truthfully, we are not in the same department and we don’t work in the same office. Our interactions are brief and we see each other sporadically. But, at the end of the day, it still felt good to hear someone say that I will be missed, that I matter, and that I have made a difference in the short time that I have been here.

Susan Boyle brought out the best in us. We are all judgmental and cynical of the world but we put those emotions on pause because we feel a sudden sense of joy in knowing we can provide praise for someone who is truly gifted and probably doesn’t get a chance to hear that often.

Why are we so selective in our praise? Why don’t we make it a daily ritual to tell someone how much we appreciate them? Why can’t we laud someone for being a wonderful human being who strives to be the best that they can be and makes the world a better place for it? I watched Les Miserables on Broadway many years ago, the story is about politics, class, betrayal, but most of all, even in the song “ I dreamed a dream” it is about love, love for another human and a willingness to do something about it.

For every beautiful iconic vision of perfection like Princess Diana, there’s probably a Susan Boyle, out there. Who is more deserving of praise? Let’s strive to give praise indiscriminately for a job well done no matter who you are or no matter who it is directed at. Just like my co-worker or maybe even Susan, you will never know how much that will be appreciated that day.

Cherry Jubilee

As I sat on a plane coming back from Washington DC during Cherry Blossom Festival, I felt so grateful for a wonderful weekend in our nation’s capitol. Weekends come and go (and are often not long enough) but this past one in DC was truly a memorable one. It wasn’t memorable because I rubbed elbows with the President, or hugged a Senator and no, I didn’t get in trouble with the Secret Service. In fact, I’ve been in DC where I have seen cherry blossoms more beautiful than this weekend before. What made it a memorable weekend was something more simple: spending time with wonderful people.

When I moved to DC in January 2007, I barely knew my roommate. The city was unfamiliar and winters definitely felt like winter! It was a strange experience learning to navigate the streets, the quadrants of the city, how to ride the Metro, and how to be on myyour own. My time living in DC though was special, not just because of experiencing many firsts, it was special because I would have never met the friends that I did if I stayed in Los Angeles.

Certainly I wouldn’t have met my bff originally from Atlanta, nor would I have established a wonderful friendship with my most cherished co-worker from Montana, where we spent late nights talking about our dreams and relationships. I would not have met my Canadian friend where we would explore the city and its wonderful eats. I would never have become fast friends with a Californian who went to graduate school in Michigan and now works in DC or met friends from Hawaii who made it all the way east to work in the nation’s capitol.

Being in DC this time felt particularly satisfying because both my best friend from New York and my boyfriend from San Francisco both came into the city to be with me. An experience is more magical when you get to share it with the ones you love. Together a diverse group of individuals from a range of cities got together to just have fun. Yes, I enjoyed seeing the cherry blossoms, taking snapshots and liquor shots, enjoying delicious brunches and hilarious conversations, but most importantly, I just enjoyed being there with the people that I care about and that they too were able to share with me that little piece of DC that I love.

Ted*USC--Living a Remarkable Life

A wise person once told me, surround yourself with those you aspire to become. On March 23, 2009, I did just that by attending the first annual Ted*USC event. With over 1200 students, faculty, and community members, Ted kept us all willingly trapped all in an auditorium for an entire afternoon of 18 minute lectures on everything from how to aid our crippling economy, to how to sustain life in Biosphere 2, to collaborative scientists working on things that matter and even rapping about it (yes, I said rapping, you too can get a glimpse of that on Youtube). A performance by an Indian rock star, the U2 of India was that much more special when his guest Melissa Ethridge came and performed a duet reminding us that we may be different but we really are the same.

A good friend introduced me to Ted a few years ago where innovative thinkers come together from every discipline to have discourse on the world and more importantly how to make it better. Each one of us has a role in this world, each one of us can make significant impact and create changes in the way we see the world.

Of all the inspirational speakers that took the stage in person or in video, a couple of presentations really resonated with me. In her talk, Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love reminds us that we should not live life in fear, that our best days have already passed. Aimee Mullens was born without fibulae in both legs. She was never supposed to be able to walk but Aimee became an athlete and a model. Aimee reminded us that beauty like life is a matter of perspective. Aimee is able to stand tall and proud on her prosthetic legs and tell us that circumstances do not dictate what you can do with your life.

I loved the energy that Ted*USC provided. Although a lifetime Bruin, I can applaud USC for its innovative efforts in putting on this conference. I am positive made each person who left the conference a little more inspired and awakened by humanity and our capabilities.

What did I personally take away? What we choose to do with our lives is so important. So many of us are on this journey called life, and once in a while I come across someone who just loves what they do and where they are in life. There is a sincere radiance in their energy. This is not to say that life is perfect for them, each of us have our own set of issues and dilemmas whether long term or short but the desire to live a remarkable life is a gift that we are all provided. Attending Ted reminded me that we should be careful stewards of this gift.

I've Seen Better Days

It’s only Wednesday but I think I’ve already had it with the bad news bear this week. Like an impatient child in a car ride, I want to ask the weekend, “Are we there yet?”

A friend’s mother just passed away from cancer. My dog has an enlarged heart and congested lungs and needs to be on heart medication possibly for the rest of his life. My mom fell and injured herself on a hill when she went exercising, and my legs are still sore for some reason from a measly 5k that I did more than 3 days ago! (For a former marathon runner, that is pretty pathetic).

To quote Sublime, “I’ve seen better days”.

In short, I’m not feeling so hot. I need a pick me up. “A spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down” if you will. Luckily, I found it Tristan Shout Brando’s website, http://www.thebrightsideproject.com/. Tristan’s website’s goal is to deliver sunshine daily and with my windowless office, I could sure use it! Tristan has collaborated with accessory designers during the month of March for a daily accessory giveaway. All you need to do is submit a response to a question posed by the accessory designer. Questions include anything from, “If you had a chance for a do-over, what would it be?, If money were no object, what idea or project would you pursue? What was one of the most memorable compliments you received” and the list goes on. Tristan posts the winning responses as well as the beautiful trinkets they received for their thoughtful entry.

I’m so appreciative of Tristan’s idea and her bold plans to put a smile on someone’s face. Her project is really derived out of love and I love that about it. In fact, reading through the questions posed and the heartfelt responses by people has lessened the myopic vision of which I am seeing my life right now. Professors at UCSD and Harvard have conducted studies on happiness and have found conclusive evidence that if we surround ourselves around those who are happy, who keep a mentally positive outlook on life, we too will have a greater likelihood to be happy. Websites like Tristan’s and reading about people who love their life, who they are, what they do, and those around them inspires me and reminds me that life should be cherished as well as those in it. Whether it is a beloved family member (mom) or family pet (Kahluah). Work and worries come second. Love and relationships should come first.

Yes, I may have seen better days but nothing should be stopping me from making today a good one and thanks to Tristan Shout Brando, it is already a little bit brighter.

The "Real Deal"

This week's post is dedicated to a certain someone as today is his special day. He is what I call the "Real Deal" or ("RD") in this world. That is a pretty large title to confer upon an individual. What makes someone the real deal and a truly special person? Perhaps a few of these qualities can demonstrate:

Adventurous-Whether it is backpacking on Vancouver Island or living in Tokyo Japan, the RD is not afraid to wander into unfamiliar territory. From foie gras to afternoon tea, he is open to trying the culinary wonders of the world.

Affirming-An active listener, the RD is supportive of the dreams of the ones he loves. Never patronizing, never negative, he wants to help build dreams and not crush them.

Philanthropic-From supporting an orphanage in Uganda, to local bake sales for co-workers, from donating to victims of hurricanes and earthquakes, to sponsoring a child for WorldVision, the RD has a sense of compassion and that in this life we are all interconnected.

Passionate-Whether it's about the politics of Taiwan affairs or standing up for the average citizen like Nader does, the RD is enthusiastic about making change in this world.

Intelligence-A discourse on theology, civil rights, the state of the economy. The RD has a desire to learn about various perspectives from stem cell research to the selection of wine.

Prioritizes-The RD understands that the most important possessions in life is the possession of relationships.

Motivated-A desire to succeed in the workplace but play well with others, the RD wants to achieve success without throwing anyone under the bus and is above the office water cooler gossip.

Spiritual-With a zenlike approach to life, the RD accepts life for what it is and takes time to witness and enjoy the day's unfolding rather than provide premature judgment.

Filial-The RD places his parents and family in high regard, understanding and acknowledging the sacrifices that were made for him.

Selfless love-Assembling a bed in the middle of the night and driving in crazy Los Angeles traffic, the RD has taken numerous red-eye flights across the country and has been the most selfless in time and energy.

The RD is such a wonderful person for so many of the reasons that I listed above but perhaps what makes him the RD for me is how he makes me feel. To me, he is like the perfect blend of vanilla tea. Sweet, smooth, and calming, and the last thing I would like to be with before the night’s end. Happy Birthday to a special someone, you are truly the real deal.

If it didn’t get posted on facebook, did it really happen?

An adaptation of the old adage, if a tree fell in the forest would we hear it, I often wonder, if it wasn’t posted on facebook, did it really happen?

Facebook, initially an online site used by college students, has over the years avalanched into a way daily communication in mainstream society. There’s snail mail and telephone-- ways of the old world. Then there’s texting, twitter, and facebook-- the way of the new.

Everyone these days has an account on facebook, my friends, my siblings, even my boss. Heck, the only people that don’t have facebook accounts are probably my mother and me. (gasp! I know, why doesn’t my mother have one!) O.k. the point is exaggerated and of course there are people out there who don’t use facebook but these days, it seems like those are far and few between.

Everyday I walk by my co-workers’ desk, I see the facebook webpage up on her monitor and she is not alone in this frenzied facebook addiction. Yes, it is an addiction. Users tell me how fabulously entertained they get from reading everyone’s adventures and how quickly they are informed about the lives of others. If email was hurting work productivity, I can only imagine the decrease in productivity that facebook “surfing” generates.

I asked my friend, a devout Christian and facebook addictee to give it up for Lent and he declined citing his pastor’s encouragement of using facebook as a way to connect people. God help us, facebook is here to stay.

Initially I didn’t join the cultural digital phenomena of creating a facebook account because I was deeply and emotionally scarred from my horrible online stalker experience with a myspace account. Needless to say, the litigation that has ensued the company has been met with much satisfaction by me. I sent letters to myspace warning them of the legal ramifications of their lack of identification verification and was given no response and no cooperation in identifying the online stalker. More than 3 years have passed since that myspace debacle and since then I have joined online networking sites like LinkedIn. Why then can’t I get with the times and create a facebook account?

Friends have reassured me of the safety and security of the application and how you really can have access to people you know. Friends have invited and encouraged me to sign up for an account and really, I am not knocking online social networking tools. I see the utility and greater purpose it serves. It can connect and reconnect people. It can showcase and highlight individuals’ creativity. It is an outlet to share and disseminate wonderful news in an instantaneous manner. It is an effective means to invoke action quickly-- whether to garner support for political purpose, attend an event, or learn about opportunities, I can’t argue that facebook has made it easier to connect people for all of those reasons.

Again, why then haven’t I signed up? A part of it is a staunch stubbornness, a part of it is a desire to not give in to temptation, and a part of it is just wanting people to call and write. I wonder if it’ll ever get old to get a card in the mail and if future generations will even know what Hallmark is. I certainly know I still love receiving cards in the mail. So pick up the phone, send a loved one a card. Sure it’s not as convenient and sure it’s not instantaneous but lasting relationships rarely are.

To give up or not to give up, that is the question

Walking around yesterday on campus and seeing students and staff with their foreheads marked, I was reminded that it was Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent. A time of fasting, and a time of remembrance of the sacrifices that were made for us so that we can be here today. Although not Catholic, I have observed Lent before and have given up television (no tv for 40 days and 40 nights makes for some quiet evenings at home and lots of time for reading books).

Lent serves as a quiet reminder that we as humans are privy to lots of things in our everyday lives that are nice to haves but not necessary. This year, I pondered what I should give up for Lent. I tried giving up coffee one year and failed miserably and although I know I shouldn’t be drinking it everyday, it seems much more miserable to give up coffee than to not and the next 40 days would not be very fun.

Everyone that is close to me knows my obsession with dessert. I love sugar, I love carbs, I love sugar with carbs—none of which is good for my health in any which way. So naturally giving up a dessert would be the most obvious thing to do. Some of my co-workers have ambitiously given up all dessert. I could not be so valiant and have decided for Lent this year, I will give up cookies and muffins. Yes, seemingly innocuous treats to most people, cookies and muffins are dangerous food groups (see, I even classified it as a food group) for me as I can almost never decline either if it’s presented to me. Even worse, if I’m presented with a buffet of muffins or cookies, I’ll have the desire to sample them all. Today my co-worker brought in deliciously home baked cookies, they looked so delectable and tasty but alas for the next 40 days I will have to refrain from these yummy treats. A part of it’s great for my health, I am a ridiculous junkfoodaholic but a part of it is also great because each time I am confronted with the challenge and choose to decline, I will be reminded of sacrifices that were made for me and how my simple sacrifice is just a way of saying thanks.

At the end of the day, it comes down to choice. No one ever dictates to us what we have to consume or not consume both literally and figuratively and choice is ultimately the true gift that god sacrificed for us to have. In thinking about that, to give up or not to give up for the next 40 days, for me, there really is no question.

Hello, Kitty—Come and play with me!

On February 12, MAC cosmetics launched its Hello Kitty limited edition cosmetic line. Hello Kitty got revamped, looking trendy chic in MAC’s signature color, black. It seems like everywhere you look these days you can say, Hello Kitty!

Created in 1976, Hello Kitty is in her mid 30’s this year and it seems that many of her fans are just about her age. In Hong Kong, you can find the Hello Kitty café and dessert shop. In Taiwan, there is a maternity and birthing ward in which mommies to be can hold their newborns in a Hello Kitty decorated room. In Japan, where Hello Kitty was born, you can find anything Hello Kitty you can probably imagine, yes, even an s&m room, and no, I didn’t imagine that. Although originally established as a stationary and gift store for little girls, Hello Kitty is not just targeted for the pre-tween stage anymore. Ask Kimora Lee Simmons who designed a $4500 diamond pendant for the cute cat.

I admit, I was a Sanrio child growing up. I loved going into the Sanrio store and buying erasers, lead pencils, and stationary, and I had a fair share of Hello Kitty items when I was a young girl but I was much more into the other Sanrio characters, My Melody, Little Twin Star, Pekkle, and Kerropi. The store was wonderful, filled with everything cute and pretty, I absolutely savored each of our trips there.

Today, I have Hello Kitty items ranging from an air humidifier to a coffee machine, from stuffed Hello Kitty plush dressed in the 12 Chinese Zodiac signs to t-shirts, purses, and compacts. What is this obsession with this cute little feline? I’m 30 years old, can I be too old for the Kitty?

Hello Kitty to me represents innocence, happiness, and a drama free world and you are never too old for that. She’s simple and fun, and everything that you put her on adds a dimension of cuteness. Whether it’s on a toaster or pajamas, she makes us happy and that’s why women are attracted to her. In a serious world, Hello Kitty reminds us, don’t forget to play. More importantly she reminds us that it’s o.k. to appreciate being a girl as we embrace growing into our own skin as women. Hello Kitty herself has gone through this metamorphosis from being just a girl’s best friend. I don’t know if I’ll ever grow out of my love for Hello Kitty, and truthfully, I’m in no rush to. I do hope to have a daughter one day not just so I can give her all the collectibles that I have been saving over the years but because I hope to share with someone a little dose of simple happiness.

Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mouth but if she did and she could speak, I’m pretty sure she would want to remind us of all the wonderful things in this world and say, come play with me! So bring it on, perhaps we can never be too old for what Hello Kitty truly represents.

What's your "passion" fruit?

My public radio station was hosting its fundraising drive over the weekend giving out pretty neat gifts and goodies to callers who were willing to call and pledge money to keep the station afloat. Everyday it seems I get solicitations from the numerous non-profits I have donated to urging me to make any contribution as the situation is dire for those at home and those abroad. I, like many in this country, have made many monetary contributions to causes I believe in. From helping hurricane victims of Katrina to earthquake victims in China, from the homeless in Los Angeles to the hungry in DC, from the children of World Vision to the cure for breast cancer. Last year, through the help of my friends, we were able to provide funding to an orphanage in Uganda. It was meaningful to know that we were able to help build something out of nothing. It is easier to think about the plight of others when your income is steady and stable and your home is secure.

As much as our country believes in philanthropy, we are living in some interesting economic times. Bank stocks have plunged to records low, houses are not nudging, let alone flying, off the seller's block, and everyday it seems like another company is laying off thousands of workers, from the furlough of California state workers to the Fortune 500 companies. No one dares to look at their 401k statement or how much they have lost in their stock portfolio. No one seems immune to the harshness of these economic conditions. How can we be philanthropic when we don't even know if we will have our jobs tomorrow?

With the economy going sour, resources are depleting fast. California may not even have enough to give tax refunds and the federal government, well who exactly is going to be paying for these 700 billion dollar stimulus packages that Congress is passing on their "act now, think later" approach? Realistically, how are individuals expected to be generous when we aren't even sure what we can afford to give?

While a monetary donation is in many ways the simplest way for Americans to feel as they have done something good, it is certainly not the only way we can contribute to society. With many individuals unemployed and looking for work, participating in community service and finding a cause that you feel passionate about to volunteer for even a few hours a week can be a contribution that we can all afford to make.

I know many wonderful people who are making a difference in the world by volunteering their time, whether it's reading to kids on Saturday, teaching financial literacy to kids from lower socio-economic conditions, putting together a Valentine's pampering day for victims of domestic violence or hosting monthly parties for children in foster care. It doesn't matter if you have talent or skill, all you need is heart. Of course if you have talent, you can use that to make an even more meaningful contribution. I have a photographer friend who serves as a volunteer photographer for a non-profit and many lawyer friends who provide free legal services to those in need.

When the economy is uncertain and investments are volatile, I encourage you to find something that you feel passionate about and give it some time. We are always going to need volunteers. Any cause you can think of, I guarantee there is something out there. Check out www.idealist.org or www.volunteermatch.org for ideas. When I volunteered my time to interact with kids who are smart but have never been giving affirmation from their parents or teachers, when I helped grandparents obtain guardianship rights for their grandchild, when I helped an elderly gentleman obtain his Social Security benefits, these were acts that simply required me to donate nothing more than my time and my heart but created more of a sense of community than money could buy.

It might take awhile before our stock portfolios go up but volunteering in any capacity is a contribution that does not require us to reach into our wallet and will really allow us to reap the fruits of our labor. So I ask you today, what will be your passion fruit?

The great "date"bate--A dating world or just a mirage?

February. Heart shaped candies, valentine cards, chocolates, cupids, and some might argue, more red decor than even the Christmas season. I spent this past weekend catching up with some great girlfriends and we talked about one of my favorite subjects in the world, love. Being in love, wanting to be in love, and finding someone to love.

Many of my girlfriends possess the "S" factor: sexy, sassy, sweet, and single. While some of them recently got out of long-term relationships and others have been dating on and off, quite a few of them have had a dry spell in the courtship ritual and have expressed a desire to find a leading man, heck even a supporting actor in their lives. All this leads me to ask, is the dating world just a mirage? Has the dating pool dried up?

Growing up in Los Angeles, I always heard it is difficult to date in the city. Everyone drives around in their cars making little room for social interaction. When I moved to DC, the story was more sobering. Professional women outnumber men and many middle aged women in DC expressed the dearth of quality single men in the nation's Capitol. Statistics are not terribly encouraging either. Each year more women graduate from college than men and in some law schools, female students comprise of at least half or more of the graduating classes.

Alas, if the story were to end there, we could just lament over the loss of the "great guy" and accept the reality that he doesn't exist. But the truth is that I also have many single guy friends who have been looking but are having trouble finding a suitable person to share their lives and adventures with. Some may argue that men and women play a different kind of game. I for one am of the belief that women look for love and find the time while men find the time before they look for love.

The modern day conundrum is: How do you provide a dating pool in which these wonderful gals can meet these wonderful guys who are ready for love and everyone can live happily ever after? Growing up enchanted by Disney, even I know that men like Prince Eric don't just appear "under the sea" out of nowhere (and hey, even he fell for Ursula's trap didn't he?). Many folks have tried to use the Internet as a mechanism of love, from dating websites to online personal ads, many have attempted to find love through this online dating catalog. While it has worked for a minority of those who have tried it, more often than not it has led to nothing more than a few dates and a meaningless future. So why do so many people sign up if it doesn't really work? I don't think people sign up expecting to find love, they sign up because they hope they can.

If yellow is the color of 2009, then I say, hope is the word of 2009. Obama used it to win his election but my friends who are in the dating world live by it. It is because of hope that they are willing to entertain meeting that stranger for coffee. It is because of hope they are willing to ask that person out on a date. It is because of hope that they are willing to go on a second date even though the first date only went o.k. And it is because of hope that they are willing to give their relationship just one more try.

I must attest that I haven't been in the dating world for a few years but the tenacious ways my friends fearlessly approach the journey to find love gives me hope in love. It worked for a friend who in his late 30's found his fiancé at a rafting trip. It worked for a friend who in her late 20's found her first boyfriend when she wasn't looking. It worked for a friend who quit her job and moved across the country to be with her boyfriend. Although not at this very moment, I am assured that each of my friends will find the love that they are looking for because they remain hopeful about love.

And so I would conjecture that the dating pool isn't dry, and it isn’t a mirage. It's a matter of treading new waters to find a new love because as long as the dating pool is hopeful it will never be dry. As cheesy as that sounds, love will find a way.

A new age to love

It seems as if I have preparing for this moment for over a year. When I blew out the candles on my 29th birthday, I felt a sudden sense of urgency, as if all things were going to end once I could no longer claim to be in my beloved 20's. I lived the days of my 29th year with conviction, reminding myself, "you got to do it now while you are still young and in your 20's". But alas, the fateful day approached and just like any other day, the clock ticked on. But this was no ordinary stroke, with this one, I struck 30.

There are many birthdays in your life that pass by with just a mere blowing of candles or a few presents here and there. But then there are the birthdays which hold a special meaning worthy of a pause--when you turn 1 and are no longer an infant, when you turn 18 and can finally buy a lottery ticket, when you turn 21 and can legally have that chocolate martini, and of course when you turn 30 and are considered an adult.

When we were younger, we all had our conceptions of what being 30 meant and that perception changed each year as we neared that age. When I was in my 20's and in law school, I thought at 30, I would be married, have a great career and own my own home. I thought I would be hosting dinner parties with real china and attending galas and fetes. I thought I would be affording higher priced vacations and nights out on the town. I thought I would be, an adult.

Today as I sit here, I can't quite claim to have any of those things that I thought I would have but I can claim I have made progress. While I don't have a marriage, I'm in a loving relationship, while I don't have a great career, I have a good job that is teaching me more about myself and my needs, while I don't have a home, I am saving money towards the down payment of one and starting to look at housing options.

As a high achiever, I want to put placeholders next to years for when I accomplished something. As a liver of life, I know that not everything happens as you plan it and appreciation of the given moment provides unexpected opportunities for joy (my spontaneous trip to South Africa and my recent opportunity to be in DC for the inauguration of Barack Obama).

Thus I realize, it's not age that really matter rather it's the pursuit of living that does. As I slather some eye cream, (now it's all about prevention) I look forward to an exploration of my spirit. I have heard from so many women that being in your 30's is amazing-- that you are more confident of yourself, more assured of what you want, and are willing to compromise less on things that matter to you.

I am excited about this journey ahead of me, to seek the new opportunities that I know will come my way, and to embrace it all with excitement and adventure and gratitude. This year, I will celebrate 30-love.