It was almost twelve years ago around this time when my heart was aflutter hoping that I would find the perfect one, and I did. I pulled out my prom dress from the recesses of my closet, still in its pristine condition of being worn only that one night. I sincerely hope that the recipient of this almost “vintage” dress will feel as much as a princess as I did on the night I wore it.
I don’t recall if we danced, I don’t recall if we ate. I don’t recall the theme or who was queen. I don’t remember too much about my date, other than he was the starter of the varsity basketball team and I asked him to prom through his sister because I was shy and he was cute. What I can remember vividly though was my prom dress.
My best friend’s cousin, Kevin, was then a budding design student (who has now evolved into a wedding dress designer www.kevinlieu.com) working out of a community college. With a few strokes on a pad he designed three prom dresses for me to choose from and together we hopped into his little lime green Honda civic to go search for the fabric and then to use the sewing machines from his class at the community college. The initial fitting of my dress three days prior to the big day was ill-fitting and disastrous.
On prom day, I was so nervous, I had not seen or tried on the new dress and I was hoping that it would just fit. It had to fit; I had no back-up. Kevin was my fairy godmother though and delivered perfection. I slipped on the dramatically backless silver halter dress with the elegant rhinestone neckline and gorgeous train and it felt magical. I never had such a fabulously fitting dress before and I was instantly transformed from a bookishly cute teenager into a glamorous young woman for the evening.
That night, my dreams of being the most beautiful girl in the room came true. What I had envisioned in my mind came out exactly, if not better, than what I had hoped for (I only hope that my future wedding will go off as smoothly!)
Prom season is starting again and teenage girls still continue to be excited about the prospect of having that beautiful dress that will transform them for that one evening. I hope that my prom dress will go to a deserving young lady who will find it to be a perfect fit and that it will bring to her the confidence and exuberance that I felt as a young woman by wearing it for that one night.
I hope that this young lady will find in the dress that she has a fairy godmother who wants her to have her dreams come true even if it’s only for one magical evening.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I dream a dream
I wonder if humans are unique creatures alone in this world that would do anything for praise. My colleague actually confessed to me that she would probably give away her unborn child if someone praised her enough (o.k. I’m sure she didn’t mean it) but we as people certainly crave praise. There is a fundamental desire to be acclaimed and to strive for significance of whatever minutia or magnitude of importance.
I cannot fault my colleague for her honesty because deep down seeping through my veins is a thirst for acknowledgment, praise of a job well done, a decision well made. Whether it be a compliment on the purse I selected (from the male Burberry clerk who gasped, “I love your purse!” (yes, a male who would notice my purse speaks volumes in and of itself) to a colleague today telling me that I had a presence and quality about me and that I will be missed when my term here is up in less than two months.
We walk around sometimes wishing to be the diamond that is found, scraped off from a lump of coal. We may wish that someone will find favor upon us, pick us up, put us into the light and find that we are not merely what is seen on the surface, but within us at the core, is our essence.
Yesterday, I was introduced via Youtube to Susan Boyle (what was the world like before Youtube only a few years ago), who has become an overnight sensation. Over 10 million viewers have watched this clip and the number grows each day with media exposure such as CNN. From a still shot of the video, I was afraid of what I was going to encounter. Here, on the stage of Britain’s Got Talent, was an unemployed 47 year old British lady who Stacy London would undoubtedly give a free “what not to wear” makeover to in a second; a lady who was in desperate need of an Introduction to Waxing 101. Standing there in front of an audience of at least hundreds, she was already the subject of laughter and ridicule for her appearance.
She told Simon Cowell that she dreamed of being a singer and she opened her mouth to sing, I dream a dream from Les Miserables. The chuckles, the laughter instantly stopped replaced by loud and thunderous applause. Susan’s voice captured the essence of what is raw and pure light. From her appearance, as reviewing a gem, one would say she had impurities, missing the qualities of the 4C’s, the standard of beauty in gemology. But when Susan sang, the world saw past that. It saw past her awkwardness and lack of social grace and sung praise for her. Not a single person was sitting by the end of her performance. She silenced even Simon Cowell, the most cynical of all critics.
For the brevity of those minutes that she sang and spent with the judges, she received glorious praise for her voice, wonderful praise for the small town of villages she was from. But the truth is that Susan probably always had this breathtaking voice. Just that no one had ever given her the chance to show it or had bothered to stop and listen and to give her praise. For those few moments, she was able to receive the praise that she craved. All of us crave, all of us need, as much as the food and drink is the sustenance to our body.
When it comes to validation, we are the same in the need to seek validation from others. What would it matter if Susan died with her wonderful voice if she never shared it with anyone? If no one ever experienced the power of it? Susan wants to be validated not just as a singer but as a contributing individual in our society. She is no different from me or perhaps you in that way. We as a society crave praise issuing silly medallions, statutes, and certificates to satiate our appetite for it. Yet, there is nothing physical that needs to be awarded to the human spirit in order to feel a heightened sense of elation. Providing someone else jubilation is often time the only thing that we need in order to feel validated. Although loud thunderous applause from a room full of people is praise that can make anyone feel proud and joy, simple expressions of gratitude, simple compliments, pats on the back or acknowledgement of a job well done is all that we need to keep us going and to keep us strong in our daily lives sometimes.
This afternoon when my colleague ran into me on the way to the parking lot, I did not expect to hear praise from her. In fact, earlier this morning, I was feeling a bit downhearted about some of my circumstances and was spending some time pondering about it when I was pleasantly surprised by her compliment. Truthfully, we are not in the same department and we don’t work in the same office. Our interactions are brief and we see each other sporadically. But, at the end of the day, it still felt good to hear someone say that I will be missed, that I matter, and that I have made a difference in the short time that I have been here.
Susan Boyle brought out the best in us. We are all judgmental and cynical of the world but we put those emotions on pause because we feel a sudden sense of joy in knowing we can provide praise for someone who is truly gifted and probably doesn’t get a chance to hear that often.
Why are we so selective in our praise? Why don’t we make it a daily ritual to tell someone how much we appreciate them? Why can’t we laud someone for being a wonderful human being who strives to be the best that they can be and makes the world a better place for it? I watched Les Miserables on Broadway many years ago, the story is about politics, class, betrayal, but most of all, even in the song “ I dreamed a dream” it is about love, love for another human and a willingness to do something about it.
For every beautiful iconic vision of perfection like Princess Diana, there’s probably a Susan Boyle, out there. Who is more deserving of praise? Let’s strive to give praise indiscriminately for a job well done no matter who you are or no matter who it is directed at. Just like my co-worker or maybe even Susan, you will never know how much that will be appreciated that day.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Cherry Jubilee
As I sat on a plane coming back from
When I moved to DC in January 2007, I barely knew my roommate. The city was unfamiliar and winters definitely felt like winter! It was a strange experience learning to navigate the streets, the quadrants of the city, how to ride the Metro, and how to be on myyour own. My time living in DC though was special, not just because of experiencing many firsts, it was special because I would have never met the friends that I did if I stayed in
Certainly I wouldn’t have met my bff originally from
Being in DC this time felt particularly satisfying because both my best friend from
Friday, March 27, 2009
Ted*USC--Living a Remarkable Life
A wise person once told me, surround yourself with those you aspire to become. On March 23, 2009, I did just that by attending the first annual Ted*USC event. With over 1200 students, faculty, and community members, Ted kept us all willingly trapped all in an auditorium for an entire afternoon of 18 minute lectures on everything from how to aid our crippling economy, to how to sustain life in Biosphere 2, to collaborative scientists working on things that matter and even rapping about it (yes, I said rapping, you too can get a glimpse of that on Youtube). A performance by an Indian rock star, the U2 of India was that much more special when his guest Melissa Ethridge came and performed a duet reminding us that we may be different but we really are the same.
A good friend introduced me to Ted a few years ago where innovative thinkers come together from every discipline to have discourse on the world and more importantly how to make it better. Each one of us has a role in this world, each one of us can make significant impact and create changes in the way we see the world.
Of all the inspirational speakers that took the stage in person or in video, a couple of presentations really resonated with me. In her talk, Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love reminds us that we should not live life in fear, that our best days have already passed. Aimee Mullens was born without fibulae in both legs. She was never supposed to be able to walk but Aimee became an athlete and a model. Aimee reminded us that beauty like life is a matter of perspective. Aimee is able to stand tall and proud on her prosthetic legs and tell us that circumstances do not dictate what you can do with your life.
I loved the energy that Ted*USC provided. Although a lifetime Bruin, I can applaud USC for its innovative efforts in putting on this conference. I am positive made each person who left the conference a little more inspired and awakened by humanity and our capabilities.
What did I personally take away? What we choose to do with our lives is so important. So many of us are on this journey called life, and once in a while I come across someone who just loves what they do and where they are in life. There is a sincere radiance in their energy. This is not to say that life is perfect for them, each of us have our own set of issues and dilemmas whether long term or short but the desire to live a remarkable life is a gift that we are all provided. Attending Ted reminded me that we should be careful stewards of this gift.
A good friend introduced me to Ted a few years ago where innovative thinkers come together from every discipline to have discourse on the world and more importantly how to make it better. Each one of us has a role in this world, each one of us can make significant impact and create changes in the way we see the world.
Of all the inspirational speakers that took the stage in person or in video, a couple of presentations really resonated with me. In her talk, Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love reminds us that we should not live life in fear, that our best days have already passed. Aimee Mullens was born without fibulae in both legs. She was never supposed to be able to walk but Aimee became an athlete and a model. Aimee reminded us that beauty like life is a matter of perspective. Aimee is able to stand tall and proud on her prosthetic legs and tell us that circumstances do not dictate what you can do with your life.
I loved the energy that Ted*USC provided. Although a lifetime Bruin, I can applaud USC for its innovative efforts in putting on this conference. I am positive made each person who left the conference a little more inspired and awakened by humanity and our capabilities.
What did I personally take away? What we choose to do with our lives is so important. So many of us are on this journey called life, and once in a while I come across someone who just loves what they do and where they are in life. There is a sincere radiance in their energy. This is not to say that life is perfect for them, each of us have our own set of issues and dilemmas whether long term or short but the desire to live a remarkable life is a gift that we are all provided. Attending Ted reminded me that we should be careful stewards of this gift.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
I've Seen Better Days
It’s only Wednesday but I think I’ve already had it with the bad news bear this week. Like an impatient child in a car ride, I want to ask the weekend, “Are we there yet?”
A friend’s mother just passed away from cancer. My dog has an enlarged heart and congested lungs and needs to be on heart medication possibly for the rest of his life. My mom fell and injured herself on a hill when she went exercising, and my legs are still sore for some reason from a measly 5k that I did more than 3 days ago! (For a former marathon runner, that is pretty pathetic).
To quote Sublime, “I’ve seen better days”.
In short, I’m not feeling so hot. I need a pick me up. “A spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down” if you will. Luckily, I found it Tristan Shout Brando’s website, http://www.thebrightsideproject.com/. Tristan’s website’s goal is to deliver sunshine daily and with my windowless office, I could sure use it! Tristan has collaborated with accessory designers during the month of March for a daily accessory giveaway. All you need to do is submit a response to a question posed by the accessory designer. Questions include anything from, “If you had a chance for a do-over, what would it be?, If money were no object, what idea or project would you pursue? What was one of the most memorable compliments you received” and the list goes on. Tristan posts the winning responses as well as the beautiful trinkets they received for their thoughtful entry.
I’m so appreciative of Tristan’s idea and her bold plans to put a smile on someone’s face. Her project is really derived out of love and I love that about it. In fact, reading through the questions posed and the heartfelt responses by people has lessened the myopic vision of which I am seeing my life right now. Professors at UCSD and Harvard have conducted studies on happiness and have found conclusive evidence that if we surround ourselves around those who are happy, who keep a mentally positive outlook on life, we too will have a greater likelihood to be happy. Websites like Tristan’s and reading about people who love their life, who they are, what they do, and those around them inspires me and reminds me that life should be cherished as well as those in it. Whether it is a beloved family member (mom) or family pet (Kahluah). Work and worries come second. Love and relationships should come first.
Yes, I may have seen better days but nothing should be stopping me from making today a good one and thanks to Tristan Shout Brando, it is already a little bit brighter.
A friend’s mother just passed away from cancer. My dog has an enlarged heart and congested lungs and needs to be on heart medication possibly for the rest of his life. My mom fell and injured herself on a hill when she went exercising, and my legs are still sore for some reason from a measly 5k that I did more than 3 days ago! (For a former marathon runner, that is pretty pathetic).
To quote Sublime, “I’ve seen better days”.
In short, I’m not feeling so hot. I need a pick me up. “A spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down” if you will. Luckily, I found it Tristan Shout Brando’s website, http://www.thebrightsideproject.com/. Tristan’s website’s goal is to deliver sunshine daily and with my windowless office, I could sure use it! Tristan has collaborated with accessory designers during the month of March for a daily accessory giveaway. All you need to do is submit a response to a question posed by the accessory designer. Questions include anything from, “If you had a chance for a do-over, what would it be?, If money were no object, what idea or project would you pursue? What was one of the most memorable compliments you received” and the list goes on. Tristan posts the winning responses as well as the beautiful trinkets they received for their thoughtful entry.
I’m so appreciative of Tristan’s idea and her bold plans to put a smile on someone’s face. Her project is really derived out of love and I love that about it. In fact, reading through the questions posed and the heartfelt responses by people has lessened the myopic vision of which I am seeing my life right now. Professors at UCSD and Harvard have conducted studies on happiness and have found conclusive evidence that if we surround ourselves around those who are happy, who keep a mentally positive outlook on life, we too will have a greater likelihood to be happy. Websites like Tristan’s and reading about people who love their life, who they are, what they do, and those around them inspires me and reminds me that life should be cherished as well as those in it. Whether it is a beloved family member (mom) or family pet (Kahluah). Work and worries come second. Love and relationships should come first.
Yes, I may have seen better days but nothing should be stopping me from making today a good one and thanks to Tristan Shout Brando, it is already a little bit brighter.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
The "Real Deal"
This week's post is dedicated to a certain someone as today is his special day. He is what I call the "Real Deal" or ("RD") in this world. That is a pretty large title to confer upon an individual. What makes someone the real deal and a truly special person? Perhaps a few of these qualities can demonstrate:
Adventurous-Whether it is backpacking on Vancouver Island or living in Tokyo Japan, the RD is not afraid to wander into unfamiliar territory. From foie gras to afternoon tea, he is open to trying the culinary wonders of the world.
Affirming-An active listener, the RD is supportive of the dreams of the ones he loves. Never patronizing, never negative, he wants to help build dreams and not crush them.
Philanthropic-From supporting an orphanage in Uganda, to local bake sales for co-workers, from donating to victims of hurricanes and earthquakes, to sponsoring a child for WorldVision, the RD has a sense of compassion and that in this life we are all interconnected.
Passionate-Whether it's about the politics of Taiwan affairs or standing up for the average citizen like Nader does, the RD is enthusiastic about making change in this world.
Intelligence-A discourse on theology, civil rights, the state of the economy. The RD has a desire to learn about various perspectives from stem cell research to the selection of wine.
Prioritizes-The RD understands that the most important possessions in life is the possession of relationships.
Motivated-A desire to succeed in the workplace but play well with others, the RD wants to achieve success without throwing anyone under the bus and is above the office water cooler gossip.
Spiritual-With a zenlike approach to life, the RD accepts life for what it is and takes time to witness and enjoy the day's unfolding rather than provide premature judgment.
Filial-The RD places his parents and family in high regard, understanding and acknowledging the sacrifices that were made for him.
Selfless love-Assembling a bed in the middle of the night and driving in crazy Los Angeles traffic, the RD has taken numerous red-eye flights across the country and has been the most selfless in time and energy.
The RD is such a wonderful person for so many of the reasons that I listed above but perhaps what makes him the RD for me is how he makes me feel. To me, he is like the perfect blend of vanilla tea. Sweet, smooth, and calming, and the last thing I would like to be with before the night’s end. Happy Birthday to a special someone, you are truly the real deal.
Adventurous-Whether it is backpacking on Vancouver Island or living in Tokyo Japan, the RD is not afraid to wander into unfamiliar territory. From foie gras to afternoon tea, he is open to trying the culinary wonders of the world.
Affirming-An active listener, the RD is supportive of the dreams of the ones he loves. Never patronizing, never negative, he wants to help build dreams and not crush them.
Philanthropic-From supporting an orphanage in Uganda, to local bake sales for co-workers, from donating to victims of hurricanes and earthquakes, to sponsoring a child for WorldVision, the RD has a sense of compassion and that in this life we are all interconnected.
Passionate-Whether it's about the politics of Taiwan affairs or standing up for the average citizen like Nader does, the RD is enthusiastic about making change in this world.
Intelligence-A discourse on theology, civil rights, the state of the economy. The RD has a desire to learn about various perspectives from stem cell research to the selection of wine.
Prioritizes-The RD understands that the most important possessions in life is the possession of relationships.
Motivated-A desire to succeed in the workplace but play well with others, the RD wants to achieve success without throwing anyone under the bus and is above the office water cooler gossip.
Spiritual-With a zenlike approach to life, the RD accepts life for what it is and takes time to witness and enjoy the day's unfolding rather than provide premature judgment.
Filial-The RD places his parents and family in high regard, understanding and acknowledging the sacrifices that were made for him.
Selfless love-Assembling a bed in the middle of the night and driving in crazy Los Angeles traffic, the RD has taken numerous red-eye flights across the country and has been the most selfless in time and energy.
The RD is such a wonderful person for so many of the reasons that I listed above but perhaps what makes him the RD for me is how he makes me feel. To me, he is like the perfect blend of vanilla tea. Sweet, smooth, and calming, and the last thing I would like to be with before the night’s end. Happy Birthday to a special someone, you are truly the real deal.
Monday, March 9, 2009
If it didn’t get posted on facebook, did it really happen?
An adaptation of the old adage, if a tree fell in the forest would we hear it, I often wonder, if it wasn’t posted on facebook, did it really happen?
Facebook, initially an online site used by college students, has over the years avalanched into a way daily communication in mainstream society. There’s snail mail and telephone-- ways of the old world. Then there’s texting, twitter, and facebook-- the way of the new.
Everyone these days has an account on facebook, my friends, my siblings, even my boss. Heck, the only people that don’t have facebook accounts are probably my mother and me. (gasp! I know, why doesn’t my mother have one!) O.k. the point is exaggerated and of course there are people out there who don’t use facebook but these days, it seems like those are far and few between.
Everyday I walk by my co-workers’ desk, I see the facebook webpage up on her monitor and she is not alone in this frenzied facebook addiction. Yes, it is an addiction. Users tell me how fabulously entertained they get from reading everyone’s adventures and how quickly they are informed about the lives of others. If email was hurting work productivity, I can only imagine the decrease in productivity that facebook “surfing” generates.
I asked my friend, a devout Christian and facebook addictee to give it up for Lent and he declined citing his pastor’s encouragement of using facebook as a way to connect people. God help us, facebook is here to stay.
Initially I didn’t join the cultural digital phenomena of creating a facebook account because I was deeply and emotionally scarred from my horrible online stalker experience with a myspace account. Needless to say, the litigation that has ensued the company has been met with much satisfaction by me. I sent letters to myspace warning them of the legal ramifications of their lack of identification verification and was given no response and no cooperation in identifying the online stalker. More than 3 years have passed since that myspace debacle and since then I have joined online networking sites like LinkedIn. Why then can’t I get with the times and create a facebook account?
Friends have reassured me of the safety and security of the application and how you really can have access to people you know. Friends have invited and encouraged me to sign up for an account and really, I am not knocking online social networking tools. I see the utility and greater purpose it serves. It can connect and reconnect people. It can showcase and highlight individuals’ creativity. It is an outlet to share and disseminate wonderful news in an instantaneous manner. It is an effective means to invoke action quickly-- whether to garner support for political purpose, attend an event, or learn about opportunities, I can’t argue that facebook has made it easier to connect people for all of those reasons.
Again, why then haven’t I signed up? A part of it is a staunch stubbornness, a part of it is a desire to not give in to temptation, and a part of it is just wanting people to call and write. I wonder if it’ll ever get old to get a card in the mail and if future generations will even know what Hallmark is. I certainly know I still love receiving cards in the mail. So pick up the phone, send a loved one a card. Sure it’s not as convenient and sure it’s not instantaneous but lasting relationships rarely are.
Facebook, initially an online site used by college students, has over the years avalanched into a way daily communication in mainstream society. There’s snail mail and telephone-- ways of the old world. Then there’s texting, twitter, and facebook-- the way of the new.
Everyone these days has an account on facebook, my friends, my siblings, even my boss. Heck, the only people that don’t have facebook accounts are probably my mother and me. (gasp! I know, why doesn’t my mother have one!) O.k. the point is exaggerated and of course there are people out there who don’t use facebook but these days, it seems like those are far and few between.
Everyday I walk by my co-workers’ desk, I see the facebook webpage up on her monitor and she is not alone in this frenzied facebook addiction. Yes, it is an addiction. Users tell me how fabulously entertained they get from reading everyone’s adventures and how quickly they are informed about the lives of others. If email was hurting work productivity, I can only imagine the decrease in productivity that facebook “surfing” generates.
I asked my friend, a devout Christian and facebook addictee to give it up for Lent and he declined citing his pastor’s encouragement of using facebook as a way to connect people. God help us, facebook is here to stay.
Initially I didn’t join the cultural digital phenomena of creating a facebook account because I was deeply and emotionally scarred from my horrible online stalker experience with a myspace account. Needless to say, the litigation that has ensued the company has been met with much satisfaction by me. I sent letters to myspace warning them of the legal ramifications of their lack of identification verification and was given no response and no cooperation in identifying the online stalker. More than 3 years have passed since that myspace debacle and since then I have joined online networking sites like LinkedIn. Why then can’t I get with the times and create a facebook account?
Friends have reassured me of the safety and security of the application and how you really can have access to people you know. Friends have invited and encouraged me to sign up for an account and really, I am not knocking online social networking tools. I see the utility and greater purpose it serves. It can connect and reconnect people. It can showcase and highlight individuals’ creativity. It is an outlet to share and disseminate wonderful news in an instantaneous manner. It is an effective means to invoke action quickly-- whether to garner support for political purpose, attend an event, or learn about opportunities, I can’t argue that facebook has made it easier to connect people for all of those reasons.
Again, why then haven’t I signed up? A part of it is a staunch stubbornness, a part of it is a desire to not give in to temptation, and a part of it is just wanting people to call and write. I wonder if it’ll ever get old to get a card in the mail and if future generations will even know what Hallmark is. I certainly know I still love receiving cards in the mail. So pick up the phone, send a loved one a card. Sure it’s not as convenient and sure it’s not instantaneous but lasting relationships rarely are.
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