Salud!

‘Salud’. A toast to health. That is often the word we use in our family and how appropriate it is to toast to the foundation of our lives. We treat our bodies like our mothers. We expect it to be there for us, to care for us, to do things for us, but we may not necessarily reciprocate; often being thoughtless and taking it for granted because, well, it is there.

It isn’t until we are sick, or our back hurts or our eyes sting or we can’t chew that we really give consideration and marvel at our body for taking care of us every day without complaint.

Yesterday morning, I woke up with a sore throat that slowly manifested into a cold throughout the day. By evening, my head was cold, I was shivering, my throat was still hurting, and I was sniffling, blowing my nose, and feeling congested all at the same time. Yes, I was sick, and no, I was not enjoying it. As I took my magic little red pills that look like they came from a game of my favorite Nintendo Game Dr. Mario (Tylenol Cold Rapid Release) waiting for it to work, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of appreciation for my body for taking care of me. How did I get sick I wondered? I wash my hands, I take a multi-vitamin and I do try to eat healthy (well I guess I could cut back on the milk tea and other sugary drinks).

I couldn’t sleep last night, partly because I just couldn’t breathe. Even the magic little pills were only able to provide me so much comfort for the night. I wish I had gotten the nighttime relief ones so I could be knocked out. Instead, I was left lying awake trying to breathe out of my mouth and trying to think about how nicely I would treat my body once I recover -work out more and eat less junk food.
But I know that I have been here before. Once I am well, I will soon forget how I was feeling and what promises I made to myself. As doctors often tell us, we only have one body and maintaining our health should be our number one priority (although it is so often not).

I am so grateful that I actually have the luxury to rest and allow my body to heal. We spend more time on the outside of my body and aesthetic appearance sometimes than we do on what’s working inside and that priority should be shifted. As I am getting ready to pop another pill (it’s been the requisite four hour wait time), I want to remind myself that once I get better, I still need to take care of my health and make a toast each day to it-Salud!

The Mid-Year Report

Funny story happened at Macy’s today. As my mom purchased her sweater (excellent deal of course) the cashier (likely to be in high school or a recent grad) asked me “ Are you eighteen because you could apply for a Macy’s charge card?” I smiled and told her, yes I was 18 but then I was curious as to how old she thought I really was. When I told her I was 30, her eyes widened as if I were yanking her chain. No way! she exclaimed. She told me she hoped to look as young as I do when she turns 30. Hey, I’ll take that as a compliment! And with that wonderful story of looking young I segue into my mid-year report of my 30th year!

Entry into a new decade and now comes time to pause and reflect on what has happened over the last 6 months. I still remember when I first started my position working at the University of Southern California shadowing my boss and learning great counseling techniques from him. It seemed gradual as I moved from one office to the next over the course of the nine months. Until just last week, as quickly as my term came, it also ended. I learned so much on the position and I enjoyed much of it, the interaction with the law students and alumni, the ability to help others, learning about trends and forecasts, and getting stimulated both intellectually and spiritually.

From a personal perspective, I have felt my relationships grow as well. I’m so glad that I moved back home to be with my parents during their transition of selling their business that they have had ever since we flew here on a Pan Am flight in 1985. The uncertainty of what their world would look like, where their next jobs might come, and what their days are going to be unfolded with us together as a family. I had the opportunity to watch my little niece grow from just a tiny little fragile princess on the day of her birth to a cute, playful, smart, and coy little girl who is about to turn one. Although my best friend is far distance wise, she is always available by phone and I have relied on her countless times this year and she has been such a pillar of strength for our friendship. I’m also extremely happy to spend time with my real deal. Since moving back to California we have had the opportunity to spend more time together, sharing spectacular memories and moments, and getting to know his family.

Being 30 also means making hard decisions. Decisions about the present, the future, what brings short term & long term happiness and what it means to make decisions that you solely must be responsible for. Thinking about job opportunities and where to live for the next few years is not an easy task or a stress less one and I have to constantly remind myself to breathe because when one gets caught up in one’s own problems, all of a sudden everything just seems so daunting. I’m glad that through prayer and great support through the ones I love the most: god, my real deal, my best sister (my only sister), and my best friend, I was able to make the right decision about my job and where to live.

I’m not sure what the rest of the year is going to store for me and I am looking forward a wonderful second half of my 30th year. I have been told that in your 30’s you are more confident and secure with yourself, you know what you want, you are not afraid to ask for it, you are happy in your own skin and you want someone to accept you “just as you are”. I’m not sure when all of those aspects of being 30 will hit me but I do know that as I have aged I have become more humble and grateful.

I am grateful for my parent’s love and hospitality. I am grateful to have a happy and loving family. I am grateful that my grandparents are still alive and I have the opportunity to perform filial duties, be kind, be nice, and be a good granddaughter (disciplines me to be a little more patient). I am grateful that I have people to love and they love me in return and most importantly I am grateful to have the opportunity to live, that god has given me the ability to make choices and to live a fulfilling and blessed life. Now I just can’t disappoint =)

Jet-setting Hugs & Kisses

Airports-the hustle bustle, the drill sergeant police officers poaching your car and threatening to give tickets, the crazy taxi drivers weaving in and out of the lanes, enough said right? Airports can often be a hectic scene. As I am sitting here on the plane of a now further delayed flight, I am entitled to a sense of agitation, to a slight annoyance as I have been patiently waiting here for close to 2 hours for a flight that should only take a small fraction of the day to complete.

Yet despite the frustration, there is something magical about airports. Ever witnesses the embraces? The warm kisses or the longing looks at the departure terminal? Ever watch the young children jumping on their loved ones at the arrival terminal? What about the sweet guys who bring flowers to their significant others at the airport? The laughter and the jubilation of seeing someone that you love at the airport is often priceless.

Today as my parents dropped me off at the airport for my weeklong trip to Alaska and my visit to San Francisco, they each gave me kisses, something that we as a family don’t do on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis. In fact, it seems as the only time they ever really give me those types of embraces or kisses if I’m leaving on a trip or going somewhere for a while.

When I got to the gate, two parents were accompanying their child who would be an unaccompanied minor on my plane. As they gave him hugs and kisses, no doubt they were thinking about how much they love their son and how much they will miss him even if he’s only going to grandma’s house (Turns out that our flight was delayed for more than 2 hours and they let us off the plane to go back to the terminal. The loving parents stayed at the airport the whole time for their son and probably didn’t leave until we took off).

I remember when I was a tween in the early 90’s, my then favorite aunt from Venezuela had been visiting for months with my cousins and it was time for them to go back to South America. Back then, we were allowed to see the passenger to the gate and there all of us little ones went hugging and kissing and saying goodbye to our aunt and cousins. At the airport, it seems appropriate to show unabashed emotions that you may not show anywhere else. Perhaps that is why despite the frustration of delays, the long flights, and the jet lag, there is something special about the emotions that can only be conveyed at the airport: genuine love.

Bathroom chats in other galaxies

Men are always intrigued by the fact that women like to go to the bathroom together. What happens in there? What are they talking about? Perhaps it’s not the same for men but many a wonderful heartfelt conversations actually happen in the girl’s bathroom.

Blame it on my small bladder but I often find myself in the ladies restroom no matter where I am and as a result I have had substantial life conversations in the bathroom.

From discussing relationship issues to talking about career changes and trajectories, the bathroom provides that extra privacy far way from the real “working world”.

In the bathroom, it seems safe to talk about our fears and our hopes: our present, our past, and our future. Today I was telling my coworker that my last day of work is next week and that I have enjoyed my time working as a career advisor at a university immensely. My coworker reminded me that in uncertain times better opportunities usually come our way and as cliché as it sounds, when one door closes another one opens. She told me about her own personal journey of keeping the faith, how it took longer than she expected to get where she was but how her faith and her flexibility increased as a result.

I always imagined myself to be in a secure, comfortable and established place at the ripe age of 30. Most lawyers are practical by nature and have their lives planned out. However, I am finding as my current position is coming to an end that I am once again at the juncture of self-evaluation. One of the blessings of being a career advisor is interacting with students and professionals who are in transition and/or searching for a position. Through their hopes, their fears, and their actions, I am able to see a little glimpse of some of the issues and doubts that plague all humanity and it serves as a gentle reminder for me that everything somehow will work out in the grand scheme of things.

The grand scheme of things seem to be quite elusive when you are in flux and the compass for your life’s direction does not seem to want to point to any one place in particular to help you ground your way. But if you look beyond your own life, beyond human life, beyond even our hemisphere and solar system you may realize that there is much more beyond our daily concern. My brother (a self-proclaimed nerd and Trekkie) and I, were discussing Canis Majoris, a red hyper giant star 4900 light years away and about 500,000 times bigger than our sun. It’s very existence and the possibility of parallel life forms all of a sudden diminishes the importance of whether or not one will get a paycheck this week.

I’m not sure if there are parallel life forms in other galaxies and unlike my brother I don’t spend too much time pondering over these things; but if there are, I hope that those life forms also have safe havens like the girls’ bathroom where are able to share their lives, their dreams and their hopes and fears.

Pomp & Circumstance

The tents are pitched, the chairs are aligned, the tablecloths are spread. Tomorrow is commencement here at the university I am working at and I am excited for the new graduates. Graduating from college and graduate school, one feels a glorious sense of accomplishment. All those nights studying, outlining, and fretting over exams are over! It doesn’t seem that long ago that I walked across that stage to the tune of pomp and circumstance but this weekend I will be going to my 5th year Law School Alumni Reunion and it has been eight years since I graduated with a bachelors degree. I know that many grads feel like they are on top of the world right now and with this feeling of jubilation, I welcome them to the world and recommend the following five tips:

1. Be thankful-If you are like most students, you did not do it alone. Your parents were behind you supporting you, feeding you, clothing you, hopefully not still burping you. Don’t forget to truly and sincerely thank them for all their support.

2. See the world-It doesn’t mean that you have to take some extravagant trip and no I don’t mean to take an extended Spring Break in Cancun. Expand your horizons. Seeing how other people live in other countries will provide you with a perspective of what it means to live in America.

3. Be a steward of your education-It is a privilege to attend college and graduate school. There are many countries where women are still not allowed to go to school. Use your skills and talents to do good for the world.

4. Learn financial wisdom-Gone are the days of charging your clothes and meals on your parents credit card. Part of graduating into the real world is being charged with real world responsibilities. Graduating in this economy can actually provide a great lesson: never spend more than you have and credit cards really are not your friends. Being saddled with debt is no fun. Learning to be financially savvy will provide you with the freedom to explore your passions.

5. Don’t worry if you still don’t know what to do with your life-Yes, we all have friends who know exactly what they are going to do. They have their ten year plan detailing down to the exact day of their marriage. For the rest of you, don’t worry that you don’t have that plan. Life has an interesting way of unfolding and providing opportunities. Never be fearful of taking an opportunity, especially if it’s doing something you love. Allow your life and passions to develop organically.

Congratulations on your success and achievements and remember to take a million photos!

Thank you Mami Dearest

Thank You Mami Dearest

We are reminded by every form of commercial advertising that this coming Sunday is Mother’s Day but perhaps this is truly one of those holidays that we should be hounded about because mothers are truly the backbone of our families and our society as a whole.

My mother (I call her Mami because that’s how Venezuelans say it) has always been a constant in my life. When I moved to DC, my mother was the only one from my family that I would have bi-weekly calls with. During the time I have lived apart from my mom, I always feel so appreciative of all that she does for me from the little things like giving me a wake up call (across time zones!) to making sure I’m taking care of myself and drinking soup and taking care of my skin. Now that I am living in close proximity to my mom again, it’s almost harder to appreciate her because I see her everyday and sometimes forget to thank her for all the things she does.

As I worry about growing older, I sometimes forget that my parents and my grandparents are aging with me. My maternal grandmother raised me, but now at 80 she seems frail and thin. I value the time that I get to spend with her and constantly remind myself that I should spend as much time with her as possible. Similarly with my own mother, although she is strong and vibrant and acts a youthful 59, I realized just how frail human life could be when she injured herself earlier this year and took more than a month to recover.

Yes, we are reminded to buy cards, flowers, jewelry and to take our mothers out for Mother’s Day to show her our appreciation for all that she does, whether it is worry or nurture. But I believe the best way to show appreciation of all that your mother does is to thank her by spending time with her. It is to let her know you know the sacrifices she has made, that you value her opinion, and that she has done a most excellent job.

I know my mother juggles the role of daughter, daughter-in law, mother and grandmother and it’s a challenge juggling these roles cross generations. This Mother’s Day, I want to be able to convey to my mom how grateful I am for her and say Thank You Mami Dearest!

100 days

The nation has been anxiously waiting to judge what our President has done for our country in 100 days. How has he changed us for the better? How he has improved our lives? The secret behind a successful relationship lies in its longevity and the willingness for those in the relationship to preserve through it, the willingness to work together to find common ground and to make things better for 100 days and beyond. This applies not only to our Presidential relationship to our country, but to our own individual relationships.

Many of us want to quickly make a determination about the success of our relationships in a mere 100 days or less. We aren’t getting any younger are we? But can we know how someone truly feels, can we know the depths of their heart, can we know the essence of their spirit, and can we know their commitment to us in such little time? Likewise, to look introspectively, in 100 days, can we determine how we ourselves feel about someone? Can we know their core and how they think? Are we able to say exactly how we feel about them? In 100 days, what, if any, sacrifices are we willing to make on their behalf?

I just finished watching the “Ghost of Girlfriends Past” with some friends tonight and while not laudable, the story incorporates, albeit, formulaic, the concepts of love that we all want, the undying faith, the security blanket. It is the love that we all crave, that no matter what we become, that person will always be there for us. We live in this world where we cherish the lovely notion that the story of love always ends with the kiss, or the dance, or the fade out to happily ever after.

Life doesn’t fade out. You may have the kiss and the dance, but after all that, there is still the everyday nitty gritty parts of life to live. Life is about working out the minor intricacies, the silly arguments about leaving clothing over the floor, washing dishes, whose parents to go over to for the holidays and what movie to watch on a Friday night.

The hopeful romantic in us wants everything to work out perfectly, that the magical “one” would come into our world and instantly enchant us with epic romantic gestures that will leave us satiated forever.

Alas, those in successful relationships can probably agree that in one hundred days, you may still be in the honeymoon phase of being very much in love without having to work very hard at keeping the relationship going. The harmonious nature of the beginning of the relationship draws people in. It lets them believe that it will stay like that forever if not grow to be more perfect. Real life doesn’t happen that way. The honeymoon does end. Those disagreements will occur as you won’t see eye to eye on everything and then you start to wonder, why am I in this relationship? Did I make a mistake? It is only when you realize that you are better off with than without the relationship and that it has improved your life, made you see possibilities that were not there before, and made you stronger as a person, that you realize you are willing to stay for the roller coaster ride of a relationship and that you are committed for the long haul.

Just like for a successful relationship, it is too quick to judge President Obama on 100 days of his relationship with the U.S. His approval ratings may be still incredibly high because we are all still enchanted with our President. Yes, we are in the honeymoon phase where things seem effortless to agree but there will come a time as in all relationships, when we may not see eye to eye and our faith will get tested. There will come a time when we may wonder, did we make a mistake in electing our President?

And that is the time, when we must remember, we cannot judge the success of a President in 100 days. Long after the honeymoon is over, we must be willing to recognize that we are better off with our President than we are without. Like any successful relationship, we must be willing to give it time, patience and commitment.